The day of "T's"

T is for T.O.P. the T-rex
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Ah, today is the day of T's. I'm glad that I finally had the time to write something that is worth telling. So far this month has been treating me fairly, which is good news.

TABLET

I consulted with my uncle about the pen tablet that I really liked. Since he told me he had bought one before, I take it that he knows if I should stick with the brand he bought or just a cheaper one. He told me that it's been years ago and now he lost track of the tablet's whereabouts in his messy room. I told him instead of making it rot away, why don't he just give it to me? (I was silently wishing that) He was selling me the item for $200, which was barely half of its original price, or so he says... And then I thought, who would buy a Wacom bamboo pen tablet for $200? But I was proved wrong when I finally got to see the whole thing. Lo and behold, it was an Intuos 3. ♥o♥ My eyes burned just by setting gaze on this wonderful technology. He told me that the rest of the parts were missing and so I decided to look for more of the treasure in every nook and cranny. I went home rewarded. No I didn't buy it, he was kind enough to lend it to me. *sigh* It's better than not having borrowed at all. Maybe if I can get that amount of cash I can just buy this from him soon.

TOMATOES

Though harvest time came in late, I'm glad that there were some tomatoes that are still thriving even after my uncle had accidentally flooded the vegetable garden. This morning I picked up some of the new tomatoes that have just ripened. It's the Lemon boy variety. I would never have thought that tomatoes could be yellow, but this one proves me wrong. They really look like lemons, even more tarty than the regular tomatoes. It's best for salads and all of those fancy things that requires color.

TSURUGA REN

Yes, I can't get enough of Tsuruga Ren. I don't know, there's just something about him that's particularly appealing to me. Not that I've been cheating on Sebastian, it's just that...there's plenty of room for everyone. Lol. Hahaha.
The funny thing is that I can't draw a particularly satisfying depiction of him or Kyoko or any other character. I suck at shading. Sorry Ren, I guess you'll just be stuck with my current image of you...

THE NOSE
(I know it's not a "T" but I just had to release it)

The most difficult part of the face that I can't depict well. I find it better to draw simple manga noses but when its a pseudo-realistic drawing... I'd rather do hair. The nose, paired with shading of tones makes up all of the things that make my renditions odd. I know I suck but I just want to try some more, but each time I do the nose looks more and more hideous (I know it's a bit harsh but trust me, it's not nice). I'm glad that my sister, Joni had been nice enough to sit still for me in order to observe the way the nose and shades look like in a particular angle. Newspaper ads are helpful too.

I ♥ you sister. XD Model for me again.

First Edward, now Daniel?

I am currently in the process of reading the book, "My Name is Memory" by Ann Brashares. I was caught up with the magic of the sentence: "Some love lasts more than a lifetime" so I patiently waited for the book at our local library. Halfway through the book however, I caught myself thinking that some parts of the book are somewhat similar, but not comparable to, Ms. Meyer's book. I may prove myself wrong in the end, but that is what I feel for now. Still, I hate myself for falling into the fantasy world. Simply, being a girl who has the weakness for guys who are particularly non-existent in the society today.

I'll reserve the rest of my comments about this book for later. That is, once I get that feeling of wanting to escape reality again.


~ Random Fantasy Quizzes~

Who\'s your Super Junior boyriend? Do you like my grandpa's boobs? nope D:yeah, let me touch them @___@f**k you >.>I love my boobs, not your grandpa's ;D Is Shindong a funny name? DONG! mwahahahahanopemaybe...*doesn't know* Is Sungmin cute? yeah **nope D:*pets Sungmin*SUNGMIN!!!!! *squeaks* Do you love SJ boys? yes @__@no >.>*huggles boys*What's SJ? Who's your favourite? Who's your least favourite? Do you want to marry you boyfriend? yeahnopedunnomarriage is lame! Do you want to have children? yeahnopehaving children is lameyeah, but only when my husband will be pregnant ]:-> Your boyfriend is: Heechul Will you marry him? True How much children will you have? 4 Will you argue a lot? Nope Who will be your lover? Eunhyuk Will your husband know about your affair? Nope This Fun Quiz created by Paulina at BlogQuiz.Net

Cancer Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

to be updated soon... lalala

Burning desire to Draw

I was able to regain my energy to draw, thanks to Kuroshitsuji. Though I am still in the process of creating my own style I am happy that I have been out of my slump. I bought a sketch book and a sketch pad along with a school box for all my drawing stuff the other day. Ah, the creative ideas just keep on flowing in my head, but often when I draw it don't come out the way I imagined it. *sigh* Oh well, practice makes perfect.

I want to learn how to draw full figures rather than just faces. Even half-bodied poses would be nice too. I downloaded Corel Painter 11! Yay! Trial version only though, but still I am glad that it is a fully functional trial. It is hard to draw and color with just using the mouse. T__T I should have bought the small Intuos4 when I had the money.*tsk,tsk* Oh well, that's on my wishlist. Bohahaha.

Wacom Intuos4 Small

~_~_~_~_~

Kuroshitsuji II(dubbed Monoshitsuji by others *smirk*) is finally here! Weeee~

The OP song, "Shiver", is sung by The GazettE. I thought I'd never hear from them.
There are new characters made up of a new butler- Claude Faustus, master- Alois Trancy and maid. I hope Ciel and Sebastian is still around. ^_^ I am gonna watch ep.1 later. I hope season 2 has a good plot.

Part1
Part2
Part3

Lol!

I am thinking about buying the DVD set of season 1. Kyaa... I want to buy everything! If only money

grew on trees!^3^


Disclaimer: the images are not mine.

~dAmn u Internent~

Because of the boredom and my inability to gain friends in the real world, I decided to go and look for them on the fabulous world of the internet. Looking for friends online isn't that bad, or so I thought once before I got duped years ago.

POSERS

Yes, there is a lot of them over the internet. People who are not contented with reality. People who reinvent a new self over some person or object that they identify themselves with but are really the opposite of what they can do or have. Reinventing a self that you would want to see yourself isn't that bad especially if that person is going to follow that path sooner or later. What's bad is when a person confuses what he can do in that world and reality.

I do believe that once I had been one. There had been a time when I forced myself to be someone I wasn't and it made me confused with what I have and don't. I'm glad I turned around before I went deeper. Personally, I hate myself for being something like that before but it did help me grow and that's what is important.

PEOPLE WHO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE LEAVING AND NOT REALLY INTENDING TO
(a.k.a. People who are papansin)

There are lots of these types too in the internet. Sometimes there are even subtypes. I am not going too much on the details on this section, but I really don't like people who are on this category.

For some reason they just can't make up their minds. I don't know if they need help or not. What I do know is that they are people who are disturbed and seeking attention from people who they know for sure will either ignore them or enable them to continue this behavior.

Let's just say that the people who are under this category falls into two major roles: The "disabled" and the "enabler". A disabled person is the person who writes something highly emotional words that have a tendency to disturb another person's peace. That person is someone who, feeling that they have to save another soul from the depth of hell come from the enabler. They feed the disabled person's whims and creates an even more helpless/creative person (to positively put it). This cycle goes on and on until the enabler decides that it's time to leave the disabled.

I do not label this relationship or people under this relationship as something that is purely negative. Something positive might indeed come up under this relationship over time. But that is under the premise that both of them are on the realistic level and not in some digital level or any of that sort. That is to say, that both should have a genuine understanding of what they can do for real and what they cannot.


THE DEFENDERS

The direct cousins of the "enablers". However there are some cases which an enabler gains experience, thus earning the right to be labeled under this category as well. They are people who jump in at the right moment, at the right time and say random mean stuff like . Take note of the word mean.

There are two distinct categories the positve and negative defenders. Positive defenders as their name implies are people who are just about as peaceful as any defender in the real world are and can settle an argument in a civilized manner. Negative defenders are the opposite. They usually flame and if possible, drive another person traumatized or insane by the experience.


~Conclusion~

Overall these are just some observations that I've derived from the people I come in contact with over the internet. Categories can or may not apply to anyone else's experience with the internet. I am sorry if the categories are inaccurate. These are just my opinions, not to be taken too seriously.For some reason I can't even make friends online, much more than in the real world. I tried, but I failed. For some reason, I feel like I apologize too much.

Something to rant about

Yes, I don't know what I am doing right now. I am so bored. Everyday is the same. I want something new to do. I can't stand my sisters and the way they treat me, which in a way I probably deserve to be treated like. Still, I want to change! I want to be more serious and be taken seriously. This is crappy. I don't want to be treated like a loser kid anymore. Psssh... I need a daruma doll.

One of my sisters always pretends to be angry when doing chores, meh... Exaggerating her tone of voice every time I tell her something while she's at it. Seriously, she wants me to be angry too. But I distance myself and let everything cool. I don't know but somehow this technique is not working so far, she still thinks that she's way up there and I can't tell on her. This is a real headache.

The other one, well we kinda get along well with each other except for the times when she treats me like I am some nobody or I don't know what I am doing. She has her own flaws as I do but still she lacks the proper etiquette of talking to people. Cutting in whatever I'm trying to relay may be one of the things I would wish that she'd change after all, she's old enough to realize that it isn't cute.

Lastly, I really do wish that I'd learn to deliver myself clearly and firmly to them. I've been holding back for quite awhile now, denying my age and my role. I had been holding back and letting them be the older people, but it has gone too far. Change is on it's way!


Image by Lunatel : Plotting

Tsuruga-ism

Yes, I am a fan of the manga Skip Beat! by Yoshiki Nakamura. I just found out that there's gonna be a Taiwanese Live-action Drama of it coming out pretty soon. It is entitled Extravagant Challenge. I know that this news has been going on for a while now, but still it came as a surprise for me.

And to my dismay, the lead guy would be played by Jerry Yan. (bg music switch on: oh baby baby baby my baby baby...) I'm gonna give him 3 out of 5 Stars. They somehow look similar... And
I don't have problems about him acting. But with Ren Tsuruga's part, oh man that would be like... To be honest,he is okay for the part,like I said, he kinda looks like Ren somewhat.... on some degree... Still, I am restless! Oh my gulay have mercy! There's nothing I can do though but rant about it.


Well it must be difficult to find a guy that would be close to what Ren actually looks like since he's just a fragment from a mangaka's imagination. But still, nooo... *cries* Personally, I don't find Jerry Yan sexy at all, unlike Ren... *drools* Some manga characters are better where they are, in that 2d world in which they exist solely under the control of the mangaka. But still, it would be nice to stumble upon someone who has a striking resemblance to a manga character. Then again, this is reality. Nonetheless, it is inevitable to drift into a dream especially if you see something like this>
~Ren do not look at me like that~ *nosebleed*

However...

I must confess that...

I really should not have looked at the Live-action section @ Wikipedia. Curse me and my curiosity. But still I'm gonna wait for it to come out and see it anytime soon once it becomes available. After all, it might be a good adaptation. We'll see... IF it still ever comes out... *evil laughter* :p See another suggestion of who would fit Ren Tsuruga here,video by rgpponci.


(Oh baby baby baby, my baby baby wo jue bu neng shi qu ni~music off.)

Randomly Tagged

I got tagged by UMI. Was supposed to have a dip but the pool was occupied so my sisters and I went back.

Here goes!

Give the top 10 list of things that make you happy

1. Family
2. Books
3. Candy
4. Chocolates
5. Manga
6. Sleep
7. Achieving something I thought I couldn't do.
8. Watching Food network
9. Anime
10. Otomen (lol)

Give top 5 list of trivia about yourself

1. When I was a little girl I watched my mom put her make up on before she goes to work. I really liked the red lipstick that she puts on. Many times have I attempted to take it from her cabinet, but since I was little I couldn't reach it. One day when I opened the refrigerator I saw something similar to that lipstick's shape and color. I grabbed one piece and hid to apply it on my lips. Not soon after I had applied it though I felt my lips burning and inflamed. I cried real hard and caught my mom's attention. She told me that it wasn't lipstick. It was siling labuyo or chili. Man ever since then I shunned myself from make up or anything like that.

2. I like hats and anything that covers the head. It makes me feel somewhat secure if I have something on my head than leaving it bare with just hair. Even a clip would do.

3. I am attracted to shiny and round things. *Hint*gift idea*hint*

4. I have a brother complex. No one is allowed to get close to my brothers. My brothers think the opposite though.

5. I do not like sports just as much as it doesn't like me.


I don't have that many friends, so I'm just gonna tag ate chi!!!

Planting Herbs and Zombies

Location: Martin Luther King,Jr. Regional Library-Sac
Mood: I am excited but still calm

April is finally over! The rainy days are gone. It's getting warmer, just about the right weather to start growing some plants.

Plants vs. Zombies - A game I am addicted to right now. Perfect!

Earlier this week my uncle took us to Capitol Nurseries, Sacramento and in Elk Grove, where they got most of their plants. He gave us a lot of helpful hints about selecting the right seedling, and reading the labels indicated. I didn't push my luck and let him do all the shopping, but my sisters and I were asked to pick a handful of herbs to start our own herb garden. Obviously the reason why I wanted to participate in the garden. Lol. Anything for food.

After we selected the plants and a few photo opportunities courtesy of my sister's camera, we drove home and laid the plants there. It wasn't over just yet, we needed to get chicken manure and bricks for the plants to grow on. So we went and checked out Green Acres. The first idea that came to mind was having the herbs grow on plant boxes. We found out that they were too expensive and decided not to get them. Instead we got ourselves the fertilizer and bricks at Home Depot on the way back. It was a very busy day indeed.

We didn't work on the garden when we got back, which was around 12noon or so, for fear of getting burned. Not that I have to worry about getting burned, Hah! Time to wear my trusty woven garden hat! I got it when we visited the Roseville Auction last weekend, which I could've gotten for $2 if I had time to haggle. $3 is not such a bad price when you compare it with the ones they have at the nurseries or other gardening tool stores. Anyway, going back to the story, everyone waited 'til the sun was just an angle lower before we worked on transplanting the seedlings.

Making the herb garden was a bit of work though. We had to transport the bricks from the garage to the garden. It was not a light job, good thing I was watering the flowering plants then. After the bricks were laid to their final, if not temporary, resting places we began to stir the manure with the soil present on the ground. Yes it was a messy task but it was fun. Afterwards, we started the transplanting operation! The herbs that we got were:

• Sweet Basil
• Onion Chives
• Rosemary
• Thai Basil
• Greek Oregano
• Parsely
• Cilantro

Oh yeah, we also got some vegetables for the other plots. We got:

• Cherry Tomatoes
• Lemon Boy Tomatoes
• Japanese Eggplant *
• Ichiban Eggplant *
• Thai Chilli
• Roma Tomatoes

* these two are different varieties, weird.

Having all of them planted, we poured a bit of plant vitamins and then watered them. I asked uncle how many times he waters them plants and he said that not often. Well I think it is good if you do it every other day then.

♥♥♥Grow plants grow!!!♥♥♥

Decisions and Confusions Gallore!!

Listening to: Tchaikovsky's Capriccio Italien In A
Mood: Normal to confused
Tolerance Level: average

The balance has been disrupted. Most of us who are powerless grew more powerless with this shift. Only 2 of 5 sides are conversing towards the benefit of "all". Clearly showing who's got the authority. We sit and wait for the storm to calm down a bit. But at the last minute, I laugh silently at the chaos that these two created. Each followed what is on their mind and disregarded the compromise that they had went through. When you're too caught up with one thing, you tend to loose respect for the other person's opinion. Technically, both of them didn't respect anybody's decision. They only considered their own decisions even if they ask another being of what she/he thinks. Still, they insisted what they think is right or beneficial for everyone; when it clearly shows that each is only looking after their backs.


Dear Super power A and Super power B, please do not forget the other sides that make up the remainder of the family. Do elevate us into a level that is a bit closer to you, just enough to participate in decisions that would make us all save the time and effort. More heads are better than one, right?

Death is Just the Beginning

Mood: Down and sad

December 5, 2010 - We arrived in the USA. We were in my grandparent's house. Lolo greeted us with tearful eyes. Finally we are all together.

The days gone by pretty fast. My grandfather was having his ups and downs with his health, but not at all grave. The pain didn't come quick, it was gradual.

March 22, 2010 10:30PM - My uncle called us up and told us that our grandfather had a difficult time breathing. We all rushed to the hospital and waited there for a couple of hours and went home around 5 o'clock the following day. We thought everything was okay, but we went back to the hospital at around the same time we left last night only it was in the morning. All of the family members were present, except for the little kids who were in school. Grandfather had a mild heart attack when the doctors replaced the something that regulates his blood. After that he stayed for a couple of more days in the hospital before they took him home.

It's been a while since we last saw grandfather. We didn't see him last Easter because my aunt told us that it was tiring to drive there and back. I was somewhat disappointed, and slightly pessimistic about everyone being present in next year's Easter.

My dad told me that on some occasions that I called, my grandfather was answering and giving comments on some of the stories that I relate to them on these instances. I really miss lolo. Yesterday when I was washing the dishes, my aunt and everyone smelled the scent of a candle that had just been blown off. I instantly thought of my grandfather and I shrugged it off. I didn't want to think of him being dead and all that stuff so I stopped thinking about it.

April 20,2010 11:30AM - My uncle told our aunt the news. We were getting ready to leave the house for the dentist and the library when she called us and told us that our grandfather wasn't breathing anymore. It took a while for the shock to sink in, even when I heard it directly from my mom. On the way, my sisters and my aunt cried a lot. I couldn't bring myself to think that my grandfather is really dead. I thought about the times that we spent together, the day that we arrived and the last time we saw him in the hospital. I wished that I could've spent more time with him. But at least he no longer needs medication. He was free from pain.

Thank you for the sacrifices that you've made lolo. Thank you for waiting for us. Even if you're gone now, I'll still show you that I can give you a house that you can be proud of. Thank you for sending us here. Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me. I love you lolo. We all love you very much. May the Lord welcome you in his home.

Catching up 1: Reading Places

Mood: content
Listening to: some jazz song

Hello blog! It's been a while. Just when I had mixed some story to write about, my aunt decided to confiscate this laptop for me and my sisters to study for the upcoming office assistant exam. It happened over the last week of march and ended on Easter. I know, it wasn't necessary for such a move, but still I was glad that she did. No, I didn't study at all during these dark days. I was able to control myself and divert my attention to other things I liked doing--drawing and reading.

So I had the time to read, yes. I wasn't even close to reading any one of our uncle's bookshelf primarily because it didn't interest me. There was this one book though that I began reading when we got here. Wish You Well by David Baldacci was a book she gave me on one of those nights that I wasn't talking at all. She confessed that she thought that I was still that girl who enjoyed sitting in one corner reading a book quietly. Right now I had managed to erase that image of me from her mind. If not at all completely, somewhat diminished. She would comment that no one could distract me from reading, every now and then when she catches me reading in the corner of the living room where the light shown. I still haven't finished reading that book though. Attention span not enough. Hahaha.

Even if my attention span wasn't that good, I still continue reading other books. I just drop one that doesn't interest me and pick up another one. It was out of curiosity that I began reading the Twilight series. My sisters were like reading and connecting to each other more. Talk about jealousy. So I had to read it, just to be in one of their conversations. I wasn't hooked though. I stopped reading when I was but 3-4 chapters away from finishing Eclipse. I just have to read something new, good thing the testing center where we took the exam had a library nearby.

My sister and I hung out in the library while another took the test. The Central Library in Sacramento was really spacious. Very impressive. Filled with books and equipped with most books I ever wanted to read. It was tiring though as you had to move from one floor to another to obtain fiction and non fiction books. Nevertheless I had fun in that library since I was able to borrow some more books. Even asked my sister to rent some books for me because I almost reached the maximum books to be rented. Hahaha. Most of the books were manga, those that aren't available online. Like Kaze Hikaru's chapter 10 to 15.

Of course, I didn't want our exceptional aunt to think that we were slacking off by reading something uninformative to her. So me and my sisters did borrow some books about English, Office Assistant works and etc. All the necessary stuff that would, in theory, help us succeed in the test. We did manage to succeed, but I was drained by the test for like 2 days. But I'll have to tell that in another post.

I really hope we get a job soon.

Still pretty confused, and being like a pig. I need to loose weight. Got to be physically, mentally, and intellectually fit.

The Sudden Wind of Change

Mood: Unbelievably pissed

Spring is the season where the environment changes from a gloomy weather to days where waking up is a joy. I haven't experienced anything like the way seasons change here. The trees and grass are magically colored as if they have been there all along. But with the happiness that these things convey, I doubt if our lives here would be just as vibrant. We may be just like those flowers that shine only for a short time and end up dying a day after full bloom.

I really hate it when someone is angered by me without telling me the reason why. Sure it is nice of them to avoid the confrontational act. Verbally expressing it is better than being treated as if I am the lowest life form on earth or worse--I don't exist. It may be an egotistical perception and I may just be ignoring the other person's side. I believe that whatever the other person thinks, he/she may have felt a similar negative feeling or worse. But I wouldn't know unless he/she talks to me about it. All I know is that the hurtful feeling leaves a painful mark in a person's heart.

This is all about the changes that spring brings. Flowers don't just bloom overnight. Trees take years to be sturdy.

Spring of Life

Mood: Neutral, slightly unwell


I've been thinking a lot. OMG. Thinking? Me? Well, the time has come for me to re-think and plan out what I intend my goals for the rest of my life. Turning a new leaf, is what it's often called, is not always a quick and easy process. A lot of things that involves a serious amount of change will be inevitable. I'd like to think that I have been viewing myself more clearly now that I get to interact with my other relatives and understand what they expect me to do, what I would like to do and all that stuff. It is quite a new thing for me actually. Never in my entire life did I feel obligated to change so deeply. It is like I feel there is more that I can do with my life besides what they tell me to do. I may just have the right idea, but their input is just as valuable. This might be the first time I acknowledged it with the presence of other people; or maybe I finally get to understand what I want to do with my life. The first step has been taken.

The following steps--a series of ups and downs. Of course, life is all about the emotions and understanding of these emotions logically is what makes life more interesting. The change that I am going to take may be difficult at first, it is a process. Nobody can stop what the heart and mind have set out to do. Although there would be times that hindrances will come to path, but still nobody dies just because of a minor hindrance, words with meaning do kill a newly turned leaf.

Spring marks a new beginning. A change of season can help start the change of some attitudes into positive ones. As one changes, a lot of things change also happens for the people around him/her as well. I'd like to start and be that change. I want to motivate others to reach and realize their goals as well. This is no doubt, a part of a long term goal I need to take soon.

Goal #1 set. Objectives:

• Study hard - earning a good score is not enough.
• Beat the crap out of our "pampered" boy cousins - you guys KNOW that WE are HUMAN too, I will not tolerate your rude behavior
• Motivate other people - you can do it too!

*I know I've said this a couple of times already, but repeating it again wouldn't even be enough for what you've done for us. Lolo and Lola, Titas and Titos, thanks for bringing us here. You've given us a new life. I will not waste the opportunity that you gave me and my family. Your kindness will forever be etched in our hearts.

anime icon by: noodledice
photo: spring

Surprise Birthday Partey!!!

Mood: extremely tired yet satisfied
Last Sunday was a Bang!!! I was caught unprepared. It really was believable that Lolo had a sudden thing for ribs, that was why we were going to my aunt's house in Richmond. But I was fooled...It was a surprise birthday celebration, with my sister as one of the best actresses.

It all started when I woke up to go to church that day. I saw my uncle cooking something up as early as 6am. I went ahead and heard mass. When I got back, the first batch of ribs were done, and sampled some. And the rest was cooking history. We left for our aunt's home at around 2:40ish and arrived at 4:30pm.

All of my relatives were there. My dad, mom, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were there. I was really wondering why they wanted me to open the door. It took a while for me to notice the birthday banners. Sorry for being slow. Hahaha. I had fun because everyone was there. I am forever thankful for everyone's wishes and efforts.

Gifts don't matter much for me. What matters is being together and enjoying company. It really was a wonderful day for me. I am more than motivated enough to start a new life here. My new goal is my family's wellness.



anime icons: madnesscarousel,noodledice

21st Celebration

Mood: extremely agitated and restless

The final days of February always gives me butterflies. March was just around the corner, and I know that after just 24 hours of it being here I am a year older, if not wiser, again. This birthday celebration was unique. This was the first year that I have to spend it away from my family. Not that I don't consider the ones I am with family, rather I feel different celebrating it with them. The warmth and joy was there but not as much as when it was with mom, dad or my brothers. Good thing my sisters were physically with me when I celebrated that day or else I'd really be sad.

I am not really concerned about the presents I received, but the company of the people around me. Family being together and all that social things they do, that's what I miss. I can be like that here at my aunt's house, but there is no substitute. Eating out last night did indeed save time to do household chores and a new experience. Believe me when I say new experience. My aunt told the waiter that it was my birthday. I was expecting them to just shrug it off. But no, after eating (referring to them who were done, I wasn't even finished with my meal), a couple of waiters came to my surprise (good thing I didn't have a heart attack), and began chanting happy birthday. So everyone in that restaurant came to know it was my birthday. What an embarrassing, yet memorable experience. Still I wish I would have spent it with my family.

I miss my mom, dad, brothers.

This is also part of the family sacrifice we have to endure on our coming here. Celebrations, gatherings and company that we took for granted when we were together. It is nice to remember the times together every once in a while. This is just a step toward being together--soon. And it's not like there is no way to connect with them. There's always the phone and all. Separation is difficult but not permanent.


icons by: natsuriko, eunkyung

I PHAILLLEEEDDD!!!

Big time failure! Hahaha! That was the worse day ever. But then again, I'm glad that it was all over. I drew first blood!! Wooh... Darn that test! Darn me for being so confident to take the test that day.

I handed the resume (I had to staying up late for) last Wednesday and I was given the option to either take a test or not. It was a math test. Apparently the guy who owns that place prefers to have white people do the reading assistant thing primarily because of the way the whites deliver the language. There was another position available, so I decided to go ahead and apply for the math assistant position, (which I was so unprepared for). Then all of a sudden I was sitting in the class, taking a level Hworksheet worksh*t... I swear I heard my high school math teacher's voice inside my head while I was taking that test.

It was a tormenting thing. I stared blankly at the paper first. I thought I could do it and so it dragged on for 1 hour. And after another 3o minutes, I decided that it wasn't the job for me. I handed the paper to the head teacher and was not that concerned with the results. I knew I flunked the test and I am happy to say that I have satisfied with my curiosity with their school's discipline. I walked out their door...hungry... I never used my brain cells for a loooongg time now. My aunt told me to wait by Bel-air, a grocery place. I walked out at 4, they picked me up at 6pm. Talk about memorizing the details of the store. Hahaha

I'm done with the math thing, why bother? It really caught me unprepared. I was even haunted by that test that night in my dreams. I really hope that the person I am destined with knows a lot about math so I won't have difficulties.



anime icon by natsuriko

Gaga! Head's up! Gaga!

Hahaha... Tomorrow is a big day. :) I'll be submitting the application form. Weee... I just hope everything goes well. It is raining once more. Hope this weather won't affect my mood up to tomorrow and Thursday at least.

Nosebleed na naman ako siguro bukas... hahaha... got to get my confidence up!

anime icon by natsuriko

Body pain, school, and other activities

Lately I have been developing a habit of setting my alarm on for the following day just before going to bed only to wait for it to go on the following day and turning it off, then I go back to sleep. It really is bothering me, but today I did the exact same thing. Hope tomorrow I remember to change it, since I've been missing a lot of time with my extra sleeping hours.
I've decided to go back and do the exercise program again. I stopped the first time I did it because my body is in so much pain. The current body aches I receive reminded me of how intensive it can get, making my body really stick to the bed the following day. But if some can do the program, why can't I? Yeah, I really need to exercise real bad to level off the amount of food I ate when I got here.

Joni Jam Jelline
*Hahaha*

My aunt took us to see a community college last Thursday. We were able to accomplish quite a lot that day. We took the new students' orientation, able to schedule an appointment with a councilor this coming Thursday. I really hope that most of my subjects would be credited in order for me to finish my current course. Sayang naman kasi eh, 1 year na lang graduate na sana. The school is just known for 2-year courses, and if ever we get admitted maybe we'll be focusing more on the major subjects because we have already passed the minor subjects. Or they can just advice us to go to a different school that offers 4-yr programs. I don't know how their system goes, but these are just my speculations. Although just to be physically present in that school is nostalgic. I REALLY MISS SCHOOL.



Last Saturday, I was really nervous and shy to call the Kumon Center near our place. They are looking for part-time Reading assistants, Math assistants and receptionists. When I decided to call, I couldn't speak audibly enough for the other person to hear me. But I was still able to get some requirements for the job, like the person has to drive to at least 2 of the 3 learning centers per week. So after ending the embarrassing call, I decided to call my grandma and ask her advice. She laughed and encouraged me as I disclose to her what just happened. The call lasted for more than an hour with me ending up telling everyone who was present at their house that day what I just did. They boosted my confidence and made me decide to call the center again.

The second call was different than the first one. I had gained a lot of confidence that enabled me to deliver what I wanted to tell the person without stuttering. It was rewarding as well because luckily the girl told me that I can drop by the center right now to pick up an application form. I was so happy at that moment (imagine, kukuha pa lang ng application yan ah.what more kung hired na.hahaha.) and told her I'd swing by a little later. After that call, I went ahead and broke the news to everyone. I also found out that it wasn't necessary for me to have a driver's license, just as long as I can arrive at the centers on time.

Dressing up for the trip to the center took longer than picking the application form up. I was able to see the girl I phoned a little earlier about the job. She must have thought, Oh this was the girl who was stuttering. Hahaha. Well to me, she's not like the type to eat a person anyway. ^_^ I have to fill out the application form and submit it this Wednesday. Weee~ I hope I still have confidence. Still working on that confidence thing. Guess I should call my grandma again...

♥♥♥ Happy Valentines!!! ♥♥♥

Mood: In Pain...monthly mess
Song: According to You -Orianthi
Watching: the winter olympics @ Vancouver on tv

~Falling in love is like falling in make believe~


______

Happy Hearts Day to everyone! ^_^

Recently I've been having a hard time thinking about what to write. There aren't any stories to tell, but I feel that there's a lot of things that I should be writing about. So here it goes...

Spring is just around the corner. Beautiful buds start to fill the trees along sidewalks. White, pink and yellow flowers decorate the dormant trees and grass. I wanted to pick one of the flowers, but I was warned that I might get caught if I go picking them in public places. Better if I pick some flowers on my uncle's garden. *stealth mode*. My uncle took us to this plant nursery to purchase some kind of fertilizer to kill the weeds. As it turns out, it's not enough to pick them weeds, because their seeds are in the soil. So basically, when summer or spring comes, they tend to destroy the plants. There were colorful flowers and you can really smell that the weather is about to change pretty soon. But it's supposed to be at least six more weeks of winter (from this year's Groundhog day, by the groundhog named Phil, prediction). Well, it doesn't matter. What caught my attention really in that plant nursery was this Citrus Chart. I saw this unusually unique citrus called Buddha's hand citron. I wonder how it tastes like.

Citrus medica var. sarcodactylus

Chocolates and Candy kept me wanting to explore the Japanese Marketplace, Oto's, which was near the nursery. We went to it shortly after purchasing the fertilizer thing to buy some dim sum wrappers. They are called potstickers, the siomai and the dumpling that is. I wonder if it's one and the same, or maybe its a matter of preparation/cooking that's why their names are different. Well, we had that for dinner. Made it with chicken instead of pork. I must confess, I am fond of using the food processor for grinding up food. I use it too much that my uncle started warning me about grinding up "good meat" pieces. Hahaha. But its most exciting. One press of a button and presto! Well, nothing beats chopping vegetables up. I do USE the food processor for chopping the onions. haha.

Peppero Almond
(image taken from the internet, working on getting own camera)

Asides from the dim sum wrappers (wonton/wanton whatever), my sister bought Peppero, a Korean version of Japan's Pocky. I like the one that's dipped with chocolate and almonds and so I used my older sister powers to get one box from her. Hahaha. I also found moving rubber!! ^_^ For a minute, my sister and I were like, OMG!!! Moving rubber! *faint* But I wasn't able to buy it coz it's 10$+ tax (plus, I am broke, no more money for me. Slowly, I found out that it was gone when I bought the wrappers).

Apolo Ohno

Today, it was a painful day... My monthly visitor has arrived. *dies* But I found new ♥. Updated my crush list as I was watching the Winter Olympics last night. My new crush is Apolo Ohno . Kyaaa~ Just thinking about him makes me want to... *faint* Well, actually, I am not really fond of him that much. Not like my other crushes that I would literally daydream about. I guess this is just one of those pupply-love crushes that I'll get over after a couple of days, at most week. (That is why, I only inscribed his name on my Crush Note using a pencil. Hahaha.)

My sister has been teasing me lately. She's telling me that I'm attracted to young boys. *dies* I can't help it. Well, it's not that I'm admitting that I am attracted to young boys, but well, there's something about them. You know, I define crush as someone (human or drawn character.lol) I am attracted with because of something that they have, not exactly making them my bf or someone to that effect. I know, I'm being defensive, that is why I'd rather look and adore anime/manga characters. They're always there when I need a visual inspiration unlike those big stars/people I don't even know. *sigh* I really want to draw something. This energy could be very useful to come up with something creative, but I can't I'm getting pretty sleepy.

Thank you for taking the time to read my random post.

♥♥♥Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Chinese New Year!!! Good Luck to all of us!!! ♥♥♥

Ang Everyday Question...

-Kusina Diary 1-

Anong ulam ngayon? My gulay, akala ko tapos na ang aking paghihirap sa pag-iisip ng ulam for the day, hindi pa pala. Hindi pa din nagbabago ang aking role na gampanin kahit nandito na kami sa ibang pamamahay. Napatunayan ko na naman na talagang habang buhay pa ang isang tao, kumakain pa ito. In short, isa ang pagkain sa kanyang maaaring problemahin sa araw-araw. Malas mo lang kung kagaya kita na talagang naka-poste na sa kusina upang gampanan ang mga trabaho na naroroon. Hanggang sa pagtulog ay hindi ka tatantanan ng tanong na iyan, swerte mo na lang kung paggising mo ay may solusyon ka na. Mahirap magmadali at mag-imbento ng kung anu-ano, lalo na kung time-pressured ka. Hahaha. Hindi ako pwedeng pang-Iron Chef. hahaha. Pero madalas, okay naman ang isprikitik na pagkain. Nauubos naman. Yung nga lang, nakakangarag isipin ang pagkain ng paulit-ulit. Tapos, pagnakapili ka na kung ano ang lulutuin, aba'y malalaman mong may kulang ka palang rekado. *dies*

At higit sa lahat, matapos mong pinag-isipan ng matagal, ihanda, iluto, at kung anu-ano pa, eh wala pang 5 minutese ay ubos na ang pagkain. Sarap talaga ng buhay. At least, may iniisip at niluluto pa ako, di ba?

-Panahon-

Wala lang talaga akong magawa sa kasalukuyan kundi magluto at magluto, kung may mailuluto na ha. At sigurado akong sa panahon na ako'y super busy na in the future, mami-miss ko ang mga panahong kagaya nito, kaya dapat lubus-lubusin na. Sobra na ata ito eh... Ayaw ko nang umabot sa panahon na ako'y maging tamad na para kumilos...

2 Months and counting...

Mood: Mixed emotions
Song of the moment: Love so sweet (piano ver.)

Days come by quite faster than I thought they'd be. In a few days time, another month would have passed since we came here. Like always, I tend to be slightly fearful of what lies ahead of us. Yesterday was our family's thanksgiving mass at St.John's, near our grandparent's home. I prayed and talked to God about our family's status here now. After the mass, I felt as if I was given an answer, that everything will be okay and that I should just hang on whatever is going to happen from that point on.

I want to talk about my mom's sister, who is a bit strict. My lola told me the other day that my aunt was having tampo on me. I didn't understand why she feels that way. I didn't even do anything wrong. The aunt I'm referring to here isn't the one that took us girls in, but the one who volunteered to take care of my brothers (let's just call her Aunt M, Aunt E is the one that we're living with now). So yesterday, we were at her house again. We were supposed to watch her son's game, but unfortunately their opponent's team were incomplete - thus letting them win by default. I made some attempts to converse with her, and fortunately she responded "normally".

Realization: Well, after yesterday, I came to understand Aunt M more. I have no idea who and what she was primarily because when she left, we were still young. And I know that she wants to catch up with us and know us better. She's kinder than I though she was, kinda reminds me of how my sister is like.

My head is hurting right now, its almost dinner and I haven't even prepared anything just yet.


Kambal, sa april na uwi ni tito ko. Hope I'll be able to give you money by that time para makabili ako nung ibang items na jan lang makikita. ^_^

A Good Read

I just finished reading the manga, After School Nightmare by Mizushiro Setona.

I am a slow reader, read it for like 3-4hrs. It was a good read. Definitely. At first I was thinking, well this is just another manga to pass time by. But as I went on deeper into the story, it made me eat my words.

It's not like the typical love story plot that you normally have in shoujo mangas. The way the mangaka had established every detail in the story as each chapter progresses made sense by the very powerful ending. Truly remarkable, I can say that this manga was well thought of, and it offered a different perspective of what being alive is supposed to be like.

Congratulations to the mangaka to have conceived a very wonderful job in completing this manga!


A must read.

Disclaimer: Image solely belongs to the mangaka.

weekend na naman

Kamukha talaga nyan yung ex ko dati na hindi ko pa nakikita ulit. ahahaha. ambisyosa.

ang bilis talaga ng mga araw, wala naman kaming magawa. Tumataba na naman ako dahil sa tumigil kami sa pag-eexercise ng kapatid ko. Medyo nanghihina pa din ako, at mahilo-hilo, pero buhay pa naman ako. Kainis nga eh. Dapat talaga mag-exercise ng mabuti. Goal ko pa naman na gumanda ng bonggang bongga. bwahahaha... Seriously, mahirap ang masyadong malaki. Yung mga damit na maliliit na alam mong bagay dapat sa'yo ay hindi mo na maisusuot. Personal lang naman ang goal na ito, at hindi ko ito ginagawa para sa ikabubuti ng lahat (what the?) di kaya, para sa isang tao.

Totoo na nung mga nakaraang panahon na nag-eexercise kami ng kapatid ko ay medyo gumaganda ang pakiramdam ko, nagiging active na nga ako nun eh. Pahamak na dalaw yan, wrong timing. Hindi pa talaga matapos-tapos hanggang ngayon yung monthly dalaw na yan. mahigit 1 linggo na yan. Sumakit kasi talaga katawan ko nung ginagawa namin yung exercise at naghinala ako na baka nasobrahan ako, yun pala ay dalaw lang. Pahamak talaga. Nawa ay matapos na ang paghihirap kong ito. Seryosong mag-uumpisa na akong mag-diyeta at mag-exercise. Iniisip ko na hindi maganda ang magiging hitsura ko pag ako'y lumobo pa. Gusto kong pumayat tulad nitong taong ito:


yung babae ha, kahit konti lang.

Bukod sa pag-eexercise ng pisikal na pangangatawan, dapat ko na ding simulan ang pag-aaral ng kultura at salita ng mga tao dito. Kung gugustuhin ko nga namang makabili ng mga gamit dito, dapat lang na magka-trabaho. Kailangan ding mag-aral muna siyempre ng mga nakagawian nila para makahanap ng magandang trabaho. Kailangan talaga ng pasensya. Pero wala naman akong mabilhan nun dito, at mas gugustuhin ko ding iwasan yung pasensya kasi hindi ba matamis na naman iyon? Ahahay... ang buhay nga naman parang life.

Wala lang talaga akong makausap ng matino dito sa ngayon. *bow*

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Shrimp is Allergy Festival

You know yesterday was one of those days that you'd like to have a bowl of warm soup or broth to savor while sitting back and relaxing as the day slowly ends. It was a perfect cold and rainy day with an unfortunate ending. As usual, I was in the kitchen cooking food before the folks came in. I was cooking chicken lo mein, or something like that, when our aunt called us up and told us that we'll be having some soup courtesy of her and her husband who had a double order of that food. It was okay, thought it would compliment the food that I just completed. Soon they were home, my sister re-heated the soup that they brought which contained shrimp yes, shrimp. I took the chance of sipping some of the soup that they brought home, well out of hunger I suppose. No, hunger is too big of a word, but I'd rather call it as something that would please them, as a sign of appreciation.

After dinner was over, we had our usual family talk thing going on. I felt like my lips kinda itched a little bit, but I just took it for granted. Then, I was cracking some jokes on my sister when I suddenly felt a sting come on my right chest. It was from then that I became quiet. My sister thought that I was still playing with her, teased me. Then I started to wheeze out a little bit, and felt like I had a difficulty breathing. I took some tylenol to prevent the pain, but I couldn't take it any more, I told my aunt that I think I'm having allergic reactions to the shrimp in the broth. My aunt called the medical group that's closest to our place and asked for some instructions. They asked her to give me some antihistamine, but my uncle decided that it was better to take me to the emergency room since that's what they told them to after taking the antihistamine thing. So without any antihistamine thing, I felt a lot worse as we drove for 30-minutes to the hospital.

At Kaiser Permanente, the hospital, the nurse told me that my breathing was normal, and that it might have primarily come from me being nervous and all so I had to calm down a bit. Later on, I was in one of the emergency room's beds when a nurse asked me what I was feeling and then she came back with a few options for us. First was that benadryl thing, then for a little while later, if I feel a lot better after taking that then I wouldn't be given any other medicine. True enough, I was receiving something that was in vapor form. They told me that this medicine was to open my lungs to promote a normal breathing, which could make me feel a bit sleepy, which I wasn't. But it lasted for an HOUR. Even before that vapor was consumed, the doctor. Dr. Smith, decided to give me the tablets necessary for me to feel better. One was for the stomach cramps, another for the easier absorption of 3 prednisone tablets. My gulay, I felt quite better after the session was over and requested to be sent home. I can't stand hospitals that much. It's too clean. lol. joke. I am not fond of the smell of medicine that's why I try as much as possible to avoid getting sick. I also got an epipen, i don't know what that is, but its a syringe that I need to use in case of a sever allergy attack. My sister is really happy about that, coz I asked her to be the one to do it in case I get my allergies. Time for her revenge, haha.

Going home, I was stressing over the ice cream that my sisters had started to eat when we left and, as my aunt commented, was a sign that I was okay. But during the entire day, I felt very weak and a bit dizzy from time to time, must have been the side effects of some of those medicines. Hopefully I won't get any more allergy attacks, best to avoid the seafood because I still don't know whether if I get this allergy by ingestion or by just being exposed to it. Too bad, I won't be able to lend a helping hand in one of the upcoming Crab Feed events held at the local church. But, it may be a blessing in disguise as it happened even before I offered to help on that seafood festival. ♥


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I Can't Breathe...

Yes, I can't breathe, but the reason is not the same like what GD's song is about. Sa dinami-dami ng mga maaaring mangyari sa akin, ay yun pa ang naganap.



Napatunayan ko nang madali talaga akong makawala ng mga gamit. Kung puso ko man yun o mata ko man yun malamang sa malamang ay hindi na ako mabubuhay (uuuy, kala nya magmahal) o makakakita. I checked my passport holder for some important documents needed for school and lo! It wasn't there! I couldn't sleep last night, stressing over where I could've placed it, dropped it, you name it! I was thinking of it all night long. Kinakausap ko yung sarili ko kung sasabihin ko ba kay tita o hindi, tinanong ko pa yung kapatid ko, na nainis kasi paulit-ulit akong nagtatanong sa kanya about what decision ang dapat kong gawin. Yung mga suggestions nya na madalas kong kinokontra hanggang sa nainis na nga siya sa akin. Sa awa naman ng Diyos ay nakatulog din ako, pero pagkagising ko sinabi ko din sa tita ko na nawawala nga yung dokumento na yun. Hala sige hanap naman kami. Nag-aalala siya kasi baka hindi ko pa maramdaman ang epekto nun ngayon, pero malamang sa future na hinaharap pa. Madali lang naman makakuha nun pero the problem is, we have to verify the location of that document for it is my identity. Grabe, namumutla na talaga ako sa hiya at abala na aking ginawa, kabago-bago ko pa man lang din dito. May sinabi yung kapatid ko na baka nalabhan daw niya yun nung isang linggo kasi may mga traces ng papel na nakita, Option 1 yun. The next option ay kung nasa library yun, kasi nung nag-apply kami ng library card, ipinakita ko yung proof of address ko sa kanila na kasama yung passport ko na, sa palagay ko ay, nakaipit dun. Tumawag naman si tita, ayun, wala dun.



In short, ipapanalangin ko na lang na sana ay nalabhan na lang yun 'di kaya ay hindi gamitin yun sa masamang paraan. Pero dagdag na trabaho na naman para kanila tita, kasi dadalhin na naman nila ako sa area na nag-iissue nun. I think I must do better, if not much better, when I am applying for a job or school para ma-overlook nila yun. It might work, but still I have to prove to them na I can do it. My tita told me that I was really like her in a lot of ways, which is again, confirmed in this incident.

What a Wonderful Wednesday

The sun is up and shinning, good thing the rain didn't last until morning. Evidences of the heavy downpour is still in sight. Nevertheless, its another beautiful day. Beautiful because we have the house to ourselves! Yehey! Our aunt couldn't take us to the school today, maybe she'll try to escape work again tomorrow just to get us all "analyzed" or "guided" by the school councilors, which are too busy if you ask me for they are not returning my aunt's calls. This must be a sign that we shouldn't be in school just yet. Our aunt also told us that she had inquired about the fees, it is indeed true that we were to pay at least, double the amount for tuition. Well, that's that. The facts kinda make me think that going to a school councilor isn't a best bet. That's why I sent mine and dad's resume to her, so she can "check" whatever stuff that's supposed to be there or not.

Yeah, we broke it slightly with our aunt last night. My sister and I kept on telling her that we're not that ready for school. Readiness, determined financially. She asked us what we want to do for the time being, I told her we should look for a job. Imagine the look she had, we know she wants my sister to be in school, but the timing isn't good. Patience is a virtue, and I believe that it is more so in our case. I mean, school is just there, we aren't even settled enough to support ourselves. I don't mean to cast a negative impression on our aunt's wanting to get us to school. But, as I constantly repeat to myself, we are just NEW here. Being NEW has less benefits compared to being at least a year of staying here. I know she's aware of that, since she's been here. She just wants everything to be laid in place. Preparing beforehand, like if we're admitted to that school, such and such things will apply, this and that subject will be credited,etc. Little things that can be done, should be done, if you are able. Staying fixated on one area of interest isn't good as you can never see the big picture unless somebody pops right in and tells you all sort of stuff.

I know that whatever decision we make, whether its to work or to study, we should take it without any doubts or just for the sake of "doing it". Easier said than done, I'll just let the waves of life carry me.

Got to stop worrying about my brothers. I hope they're doing fine in school. ^_^

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School, Exercise, Starlight & Sweetheart& Anime!! :D

mood: tired but feeling satisfied

Yes!!! It's day 5 of our exercising program!!! wooot~ Good job Joni! I really feel like I'm getting a bit more active. Now, I know that exercising is not good for me at night time. I went to bed at 10pm, and I slept at 2am. wahahaha. I was just lying on my bed, doing nothing, I tried to read a book, but it didn't do well. Heck, if I was reading a thick one, I would've finished it 'til morning! Hahaha. I woke up late.

My brothers had their first day in school today. I am so happy and proud of them! They are in the 10th grade, and they are taking some music classes. I hope that they do well in Pinole, meet new friends and survive this new school environment. I can't wait until we get admitted to school, which we'll be able to find out on wednesday, hopefully.

My uncle told us about getting to school before having a job. My dad told us that we should pool our resources together so we can be independent. So, I'm having a difficult time what to follow or do. But I'm closing in on a decision that is probably more beneficial for our family since we have just arrived. I don't know but, I think since we're new to this country, we'll have to pay 2x the amount for college fees. That is because of the fact that we haven't even been here for around 6mos.-1year. I think my aunt and uncle might have miscalculated that little detail. I mean, how can they support all three of us girls? It's not clear to me. Nor are they telling us what and who to let attend school. Not a word. Oh well, this is what I am getting, LACK OF COMMUNICATION PEOPLE.

All of them here are about time and time alone, they are missing the fact that a simple sentence can make a difference. It don't take that much of the time, it even improves it. Jobs are done faster, things are achieved more efficiently. So, that's what I'm thinking while I digested starlight and sweetheart chocolates. I miss my calories.


Yess!! I am editing this blog for some last minute messages

I just want to invite everyone of you guys out there to please join this forum: AnimeXFactor. Please help us promote this forum by gracing us with your presence,ideas,inputs and activeness that all revolves around anime! Thank You Very Much.


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