The Sudden Wind of Change

Mood: Unbelievably pissed

Spring is the season where the environment changes from a gloomy weather to days where waking up is a joy. I haven't experienced anything like the way seasons change here. The trees and grass are magically colored as if they have been there all along. But with the happiness that these things convey, I doubt if our lives here would be just as vibrant. We may be just like those flowers that shine only for a short time and end up dying a day after full bloom.

I really hate it when someone is angered by me without telling me the reason why. Sure it is nice of them to avoid the confrontational act. Verbally expressing it is better than being treated as if I am the lowest life form on earth or worse--I don't exist. It may be an egotistical perception and I may just be ignoring the other person's side. I believe that whatever the other person thinks, he/she may have felt a similar negative feeling or worse. But I wouldn't know unless he/she talks to me about it. All I know is that the hurtful feeling leaves a painful mark in a person's heart.

This is all about the changes that spring brings. Flowers don't just bloom overnight. Trees take years to be sturdy.

Spring of Life

Mood: Neutral, slightly unwell


I've been thinking a lot. OMG. Thinking? Me? Well, the time has come for me to re-think and plan out what I intend my goals for the rest of my life. Turning a new leaf, is what it's often called, is not always a quick and easy process. A lot of things that involves a serious amount of change will be inevitable. I'd like to think that I have been viewing myself more clearly now that I get to interact with my other relatives and understand what they expect me to do, what I would like to do and all that stuff. It is quite a new thing for me actually. Never in my entire life did I feel obligated to change so deeply. It is like I feel there is more that I can do with my life besides what they tell me to do. I may just have the right idea, but their input is just as valuable. This might be the first time I acknowledged it with the presence of other people; or maybe I finally get to understand what I want to do with my life. The first step has been taken.

The following steps--a series of ups and downs. Of course, life is all about the emotions and understanding of these emotions logically is what makes life more interesting. The change that I am going to take may be difficult at first, it is a process. Nobody can stop what the heart and mind have set out to do. Although there would be times that hindrances will come to path, but still nobody dies just because of a minor hindrance, words with meaning do kill a newly turned leaf.

Spring marks a new beginning. A change of season can help start the change of some attitudes into positive ones. As one changes, a lot of things change also happens for the people around him/her as well. I'd like to start and be that change. I want to motivate others to reach and realize their goals as well. This is no doubt, a part of a long term goal I need to take soon.

Goal #1 set. Objectives:

• Study hard - earning a good score is not enough.
• Beat the crap out of our "pampered" boy cousins - you guys KNOW that WE are HUMAN too, I will not tolerate your rude behavior
• Motivate other people - you can do it too!

*I know I've said this a couple of times already, but repeating it again wouldn't even be enough for what you've done for us. Lolo and Lola, Titas and Titos, thanks for bringing us here. You've given us a new life. I will not waste the opportunity that you gave me and my family. Your kindness will forever be etched in our hearts.

anime icon by: noodledice
photo: spring

Surprise Birthday Partey!!!

Mood: extremely tired yet satisfied
Last Sunday was a Bang!!! I was caught unprepared. It really was believable that Lolo had a sudden thing for ribs, that was why we were going to my aunt's house in Richmond. But I was fooled...It was a surprise birthday celebration, with my sister as one of the best actresses.

It all started when I woke up to go to church that day. I saw my uncle cooking something up as early as 6am. I went ahead and heard mass. When I got back, the first batch of ribs were done, and sampled some. And the rest was cooking history. We left for our aunt's home at around 2:40ish and arrived at 4:30pm.

All of my relatives were there. My dad, mom, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were there. I was really wondering why they wanted me to open the door. It took a while for me to notice the birthday banners. Sorry for being slow. Hahaha. I had fun because everyone was there. I am forever thankful for everyone's wishes and efforts.

Gifts don't matter much for me. What matters is being together and enjoying company. It really was a wonderful day for me. I am more than motivated enough to start a new life here. My new goal is my family's wellness.



anime icons: madnesscarousel,noodledice

21st Celebration

Mood: extremely agitated and restless

The final days of February always gives me butterflies. March was just around the corner, and I know that after just 24 hours of it being here I am a year older, if not wiser, again. This birthday celebration was unique. This was the first year that I have to spend it away from my family. Not that I don't consider the ones I am with family, rather I feel different celebrating it with them. The warmth and joy was there but not as much as when it was with mom, dad or my brothers. Good thing my sisters were physically with me when I celebrated that day or else I'd really be sad.

I am not really concerned about the presents I received, but the company of the people around me. Family being together and all that social things they do, that's what I miss. I can be like that here at my aunt's house, but there is no substitute. Eating out last night did indeed save time to do household chores and a new experience. Believe me when I say new experience. My aunt told the waiter that it was my birthday. I was expecting them to just shrug it off. But no, after eating (referring to them who were done, I wasn't even finished with my meal), a couple of waiters came to my surprise (good thing I didn't have a heart attack), and began chanting happy birthday. So everyone in that restaurant came to know it was my birthday. What an embarrassing, yet memorable experience. Still I wish I would have spent it with my family.

I miss my mom, dad, brothers.

This is also part of the family sacrifice we have to endure on our coming here. Celebrations, gatherings and company that we took for granted when we were together. It is nice to remember the times together every once in a while. This is just a step toward being together--soon. And it's not like there is no way to connect with them. There's always the phone and all. Separation is difficult but not permanent.


icons by: natsuriko, eunkyung