Decisions and Confusions Gallore!!

Listening to: Tchaikovsky's Capriccio Italien In A
Mood: Normal to confused
Tolerance Level: average

The balance has been disrupted. Most of us who are powerless grew more powerless with this shift. Only 2 of 5 sides are conversing towards the benefit of "all". Clearly showing who's got the authority. We sit and wait for the storm to calm down a bit. But at the last minute, I laugh silently at the chaos that these two created. Each followed what is on their mind and disregarded the compromise that they had went through. When you're too caught up with one thing, you tend to loose respect for the other person's opinion. Technically, both of them didn't respect anybody's decision. They only considered their own decisions even if they ask another being of what she/he thinks. Still, they insisted what they think is right or beneficial for everyone; when it clearly shows that each is only looking after their backs.


Dear Super power A and Super power B, please do not forget the other sides that make up the remainder of the family. Do elevate us into a level that is a bit closer to you, just enough to participate in decisions that would make us all save the time and effort. More heads are better than one, right?

Death is Just the Beginning

Mood: Down and sad

December 5, 2010 - We arrived in the USA. We were in my grandparent's house. Lolo greeted us with tearful eyes. Finally we are all together.

The days gone by pretty fast. My grandfather was having his ups and downs with his health, but not at all grave. The pain didn't come quick, it was gradual.

March 22, 2010 10:30PM - My uncle called us up and told us that our grandfather had a difficult time breathing. We all rushed to the hospital and waited there for a couple of hours and went home around 5 o'clock the following day. We thought everything was okay, but we went back to the hospital at around the same time we left last night only it was in the morning. All of the family members were present, except for the little kids who were in school. Grandfather had a mild heart attack when the doctors replaced the something that regulates his blood. After that he stayed for a couple of more days in the hospital before they took him home.

It's been a while since we last saw grandfather. We didn't see him last Easter because my aunt told us that it was tiring to drive there and back. I was somewhat disappointed, and slightly pessimistic about everyone being present in next year's Easter.

My dad told me that on some occasions that I called, my grandfather was answering and giving comments on some of the stories that I relate to them on these instances. I really miss lolo. Yesterday when I was washing the dishes, my aunt and everyone smelled the scent of a candle that had just been blown off. I instantly thought of my grandfather and I shrugged it off. I didn't want to think of him being dead and all that stuff so I stopped thinking about it.

April 20,2010 11:30AM - My uncle told our aunt the news. We were getting ready to leave the house for the dentist and the library when she called us and told us that our grandfather wasn't breathing anymore. It took a while for the shock to sink in, even when I heard it directly from my mom. On the way, my sisters and my aunt cried a lot. I couldn't bring myself to think that my grandfather is really dead. I thought about the times that we spent together, the day that we arrived and the last time we saw him in the hospital. I wished that I could've spent more time with him. But at least he no longer needs medication. He was free from pain.

Thank you for the sacrifices that you've made lolo. Thank you for waiting for us. Even if you're gone now, I'll still show you that I can give you a house that you can be proud of. Thank you for sending us here. Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me. I love you lolo. We all love you very much. May the Lord welcome you in his home.

Catching up 1: Reading Places

Mood: content
Listening to: some jazz song

Hello blog! It's been a while. Just when I had mixed some story to write about, my aunt decided to confiscate this laptop for me and my sisters to study for the upcoming office assistant exam. It happened over the last week of march and ended on Easter. I know, it wasn't necessary for such a move, but still I was glad that she did. No, I didn't study at all during these dark days. I was able to control myself and divert my attention to other things I liked doing--drawing and reading.

So I had the time to read, yes. I wasn't even close to reading any one of our uncle's bookshelf primarily because it didn't interest me. There was this one book though that I began reading when we got here. Wish You Well by David Baldacci was a book she gave me on one of those nights that I wasn't talking at all. She confessed that she thought that I was still that girl who enjoyed sitting in one corner reading a book quietly. Right now I had managed to erase that image of me from her mind. If not at all completely, somewhat diminished. She would comment that no one could distract me from reading, every now and then when she catches me reading in the corner of the living room where the light shown. I still haven't finished reading that book though. Attention span not enough. Hahaha.

Even if my attention span wasn't that good, I still continue reading other books. I just drop one that doesn't interest me and pick up another one. It was out of curiosity that I began reading the Twilight series. My sisters were like reading and connecting to each other more. Talk about jealousy. So I had to read it, just to be in one of their conversations. I wasn't hooked though. I stopped reading when I was but 3-4 chapters away from finishing Eclipse. I just have to read something new, good thing the testing center where we took the exam had a library nearby.

My sister and I hung out in the library while another took the test. The Central Library in Sacramento was really spacious. Very impressive. Filled with books and equipped with most books I ever wanted to read. It was tiring though as you had to move from one floor to another to obtain fiction and non fiction books. Nevertheless I had fun in that library since I was able to borrow some more books. Even asked my sister to rent some books for me because I almost reached the maximum books to be rented. Hahaha. Most of the books were manga, those that aren't available online. Like Kaze Hikaru's chapter 10 to 15.

Of course, I didn't want our exceptional aunt to think that we were slacking off by reading something uninformative to her. So me and my sisters did borrow some books about English, Office Assistant works and etc. All the necessary stuff that would, in theory, help us succeed in the test. We did manage to succeed, but I was drained by the test for like 2 days. But I'll have to tell that in another post.

I really hope we get a job soon.

Still pretty confused, and being like a pig. I need to loose weight. Got to be physically, mentally, and intellectually fit.